sunset and carlile

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 01:32:21 GMT

just to name a few...
a very brief list of vegetarians:

Plato
Pythagoras
Socrates
Plutarch:
But for the sake of some little mouthful of flesh we deprive a soul
of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had
been born into the world to enjoy.
Confucius
Leonardo da Vinci
Sir Isaac Newton
Voltaire
Benjamin Franklin
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Ralph Waldo Emerson
John Jacques Rousseau:
The animals you eat are not those who devour others; you do not
eat the carnivorous beasts, you take them as your pattern. You
only hunger after sweet and gentle creatures who harm no one,
which follow you, serve you, and are devoured by you as the
reward of their service.
Hans Christian Andersen
William Shakespeare
Franz Kafka
Charlotte Bronte
Henry David Thoreau
Susan B. Anthony
Emily Dickinson
Leo Tolstoy:
A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food;
therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life
merely for the sake of his appetite. And to act so is immoral.
Mahatma Gandhi
Jawaharlal Nehru
Immanuel Kant
Vincent Van Gogh
Henry Ford
Mark Twain
George Bernard Shaw:
While we ourselves are the living graves of murdered beasts, how
can we expect any ideal conditions on this earth?
Charles Darwin
Albert Einstein:
Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for
survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Thomas Edison
H.G. Wells
Bob Dylan
Emmylou Harris
Paul McCartney
Linda McCartney
Stella McCartney
John Lennon
Ringo Starr
Jerry Garcia
Bob Weir
David Bowie
Bob Marley
Buddha
The Dalai Lama of Tibet
Dennis Kucinich
Queen Sofia of Spain
Gloria Steinem
Grace Slick
Joan Baez
Joan Jett
Mike Gordon
Michael Stipe
Billy Idol
Mick Jagger
Kurt Cobain
Anthony Kiedis
Dave Navarro
Thom Yorke
Pamela Anderson
Dustin Hoffman
Kevin Nealon
Jerry Seinfeld
Richard Pryor
Mary Tyler Moore
Samuel L. Jackson
Jude Law
Sir Ian McKellen
Gwyneth Paltrow
Demi Moore
Susan Sarandon
Anna Paquin
Ally Sheedy
Kate Winslet
Darryl Hannah
Brad Pitt
Robert Redford
Paul Newman
Willem Dafoe
Jackie Chan
Andre 3000
James Taylor
Stevie Wonder
John Coltrane
Smokey Robinson
Jesus of Nazareth
Clint Eastwood
Henry Rollins
Woody Harrelson
Natalie Portman
Liv Tyler
Reese Witherspoon
Dar Williams
Erykah Badu
India.Arie
Fiona Apple
Prince
Boy George
Justin Timberlake
Chrissie Hynde
Melissa Etheridge
K.D. Lang
The Smiths
Pearl Jam
The Indigo Girls
Morrissey
Anti-Flag
Beastie Boys
Sage Francis
Dead Prez
KRS-One
Saves The Day
Rage Against the Machine
Depeche Mode
Blur
Lisa Simpson
Vince Vaughn
Conor Oberst

"I brainwashed youngsters into doing wrong. I want to say sorry to children everywhere for selling out to concerns who make millions by murdering animals."
--Geoffrey Guiliano, the main Ronald McDonald actor in the 1980's who quit and publicly apologised

You who are innocent, what have you done worthy of death?
Richard of Wyche Bishop of Chichester 1197-1253

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 04:22:40 GMT

Yesterday and the night before I saw the best two films ever made in the world of ever.
Those films are V for Vendetta and Dave Chappelle's Block Party.

(And while I'm at it, Pants Off Dance Off is the best show since Six Feet Under.)

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 07:32:17 GMT

i'm starting this off not knowing if it'll be private or just some friends, so i'm walking my line of just out and out naming things or naming my feelings about them instead and leaving the details up to interpretation and my own memory. i'm home and i love the keyboard here so much. so whether this is just for me or if i let (and you let) this bounce off a couple of you too, all parties know what underlying shitty things it is this time that's making me dial up livejournal (but i really do love this journal rain or shine). i'm so glad this semester is ending and i'm sad that i'm glad school in general is ending soon *undergradschoolingeneral is ending soon and you're not supposed to tell wishes but i've trampled all over that rule as it is so, the last 11:11 i caught wished i was seriously and Really happy in albany again before i go (which still gives me quite a bit of time). i didnt even think up that wish that sprung like straight from my wishing well itself. it wished itself a little bitterly too and that surprised me, but i guess that's how it goes sometimes.

you know when you've been at a way too long movie and you walk outside into the real life sun and you're like dazed. yeah.

i'm trying to think of what wishes i'd never told ever and i can really only place one off the top of my head that i wouldn't really voice around because i'm such a girl and that worked out so maybe that is the ticket. fuck.

by the way i am a girl. and i even like girls and am like girls and like that. but i still hate bitches. but that's indiscriminatory too.

except things you tell come true and if i didn't tell you guys i just wished i had a purple luck dragon to take me in i still don't think i'd have it, and that is a fucking shame. ahh that would be the rockingest thing ever. haha i bet way freakier shit would go down if only the wishes people didn't tell a soul came true. hahahaa. porn scenarios everywhere. lol

all right that really was a tangent and now i didnt get too blahhwrappedup to post this open but just too embarrassing to do it. hahaha. but since when do i embarrass. it's kind of a problem.

___so now it's a day later or two maybe it's thanksgiving but late. today sucked, i didnt even eat, or even sit at the table. so, cool. tomorrow i prbly have to go back to albany.
that walking out of the theater feeling is holding up, i need to shake off fake reality.

rjhgsdgljhgklsjdfuaoisdf i either want to go forward one month or back four

blah im annoying

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 20:07:18 GMT

Gold Mine Gutted
Old Soul Song (For The New World Order)
You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You Will
Oh, You Are The Roots That Sleep Beneath My Feet and Hold The Earth In Place
False Advertising
Napoleon's Hat [new]
Nothing Gets Crossed Out
The Calendar Hung Itself (version)
Arienette
Falling Out of Love at This Volume (version)
[a new one]
June on the West Coast
and i dreamed about my true love / the one i've never - seen / with eyes that burn so bright they make me pure / gon make me pure... i long to be with you / i long how long i long how long i long how long i long....

Encore
Bowl Of Oranges
Let's Not Shit Ourselves (To Love and To Be Loved)

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 07:05:17 GMT

sometimes i can't believe my life and i hang out. fucking bizarre. i really feel like i'm talking in the third person sometimes

next to of course god america i

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 05:30:14 GMT

i'm not as smart as i am crazy so i can't even sort or explain my own thoughts.

court today was better than i thought it would be i guess but still as expensive and time consuming as all my favorite courtinsuranceschoolbank institutions are, only with this one they don't have to pretend. this nineteen yr old chickie with a 9:26am possession ticket from her friends house got off with that 3 letter initial deal where not getting in trouble within the next six months gets it dismissed, which is pretty fucking ridiculous in open court where we watched people put cash down for cell phones and uninspected vehicles. so let that be a lesson to you all. not that i have any objections to the six month plan, hah. i feel really haunted by the ghost of my 17 yr old self lately and only as i wrote that sentence have i really realized how relative my own happiness is. i've been trying to place whatever it was that used to make my summers make my winters ok, whatever it ever was that made me lifely happy and whatever i ever was trying to obtain. and all that vs. now i guess. my thrown off conclusion so far has been that it's pretty fucked up that the entirety of my conscious memory is composed of either my childhood or my teenages, so no wonder i can't tell start from finish. (at least my love of the obvious hasn't faded since childhood. hahh. where would i be) i dunno. maybe i wanna talk this out less than i thought. everything's as trite as thinking everything is.

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 07:22:53 GMT

hey it's spring

christmas stories for my own sake

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 09:33:46 GMT

first and foremost, i have the best bath tub in the world. sorry your bath tub, you wish you were cool and you're not. it must suck. my bath tub wouldn't know.

a distant second, christmas was hilarious. lol. this is gonna get boring (i mean it's already a distant second to me shit talking about my bath tub. lol. where do you go from there?) so um thanks for taking it this far, i'll prbly read this one a few times in the future, so i've got this one covered. haha peace out kids.

anyway the only way to deal with 20 youwishweredistant relatives coming over is by being Mad Drunk. it's just the facts. i announced them around noon. *shockingly*, my mom and sister needed no convincing. hahahaah.

before that, my sister and i were putting on some stuff mom got us and we got each other (and drinking) and decided to be Glam for christmas. lol. don't question it just go with it. so all day we're like decked completely, dripping in jewelry and madness. around mimosa three (mimosas are so glam.) i'm making food with my mom and telling my older cousin about how the utica woman that opened up St. Elizabeth's where i was born is being canonized, and i'm like yeah my confirmation name is elizabeth, too, and my mom's just chopping away and goes my middle name is! i'm like....ummmm your Confirmation name is Elizabeth. Your middle name is Mary. and my mom fucking splits open. hahaaah wtf, it was hysterical. ["bobby? whats your middle name? robert? oh wait thats your first name!"]

i love my family because they are not accustomed to the any hour drinking. hahaha. after the bottle of champagne was gone, my sister brings two huge glasses of white wine into the parlor with the announcement "glasses filled to the brim are very glam." (my dad's later impression of his mom's eyes when she watched autum pour was priceless, too.) lol which made me splash mine, but luckily, wine everywhere is very glam. so we're sitting, being glam, and i'm like, i like the white wine instead of red..because it's 2 oclock, and autum completely chokes. i forget how long she's been out of school. haha

empty glasses are not glam, so we have like 2 more and get my cousin josh on board with the glam thing. ("wait, i dont get 'glam'" autum: "well josh...to um deal with the fam-" "we needed to be glam."). he's 18 and his mom is one of those moms in theory so that was fun to manuever lol. (she poured an entire martini down the sink. not glam guys. not glam.) i was at the counter with my glass, just minding my own business pouring another cup of this crazy vodka mess and my parents and his older sister are talking about if he's been drinking, they ask me and i'm like oh i dunno and shrug at them and pick up both glasses and skip off, of course, my mom cracckss up. lol. its just like simple little things but it rocked to have fun with my family it was hilarious.

my cousins babies were there too and they are adorrabbleee. the littlest one can only say like mama, dada, josh, thank you, i love you, and all riiiiight. what else do you need. i was sitting on the stairs to keep him from going up and he thought he was the was the smartest thing ever because he'd walk away like he was bored of the stairs, so i'd get up, then he'd sprint back at them. lol. i wanna be this baby. i was drinking red wine at the dining room table and his 5 yr old brother was like look i'm a baby! and picked up his little bottle sippy cup thing, then toasts my glass with it, so now we have a glamour shot of that happening. hahahaa. Awesome. oh yeah he's happily holding a bottle in one pic with me too, lol. drinkin with babies. i'm pretty sure thats what jesus would want to see.

a couple more glasses of a wine and a couple bottles of beer later autum josh and i played cards with the family, but we were waayyyy too glam for it. haha so that was fun. my cousin was mixing vodka and wine by the third hand and we thought it was great. my grandmother gets so confused when we play cards tho i cant imagine my head being like that and one side of me sorta hopes my body doesn't outlive my mind but back to christmas stories right.

josh left like an hour before his brother in law, and apparently wore his shoes home. LOL. what. ray tells autum and i this and he's like what do you think of that?? we're like haaaaaaaaaa that is VERY glam.

josh got his labret done and says yes way more painful than tongue, and my family acted like my tongue ring was brand new today which was crazy to me. bobby's mom thought it was new too and i've discussed it in length with all of these parties, this time *last* year actually. haha. my family cannot keep track of my birthday, year in school, where i go to school, whether or not i'm even *in* school, so i need to lower my standards, hah and raise my glass. glam.

oh how did i forget the christmas miracles. lol. the last one was me being obsessed with lilac spray stuff this morning and i was searching for bubble bath at the end of the night and magically found some lilac scented haha yaayyy for miracles! hahahahah ok just kidding (even tho i really was quite excited about that) now time for a real fucking miracle- my sister gave me her ss # on the condition that i wont buy beer at grocery stores (ok?) so yaayyyyyy for real!!! hahaha. her card to me was hilarious, too. i gave her a bunch of real presents, but also gave her a copy of wide awake i've been talking up forever, and she played it while we were all getting ready. once it got to the end i went to the dining room to play it over but it was already pushed ahead again i was like oh shit! hahaha YES! (i think its disturbing that i can still handle playing that album like that. hahah you'd think my brain would be worn in by now i dont get it either. i'm more annoyed at the fact that i'm not annoyed by it.) so later we're upstairs and it gets to the end and tadaaa plays againnnnn! REPEAT!!!! the most magical thing ever!!!!!!! hahahahaa. so yes my utter shock and joy and wonderment (which is a word now if it wasn't before) matched that uh, other day i was all about this album on continuous loop for way longer than should be ok. my sister put it on again after dinner and it just played forever haha so random. my extended family has horrible taste in music. just devoid of really, i don't think anybody has more interest than occasionally turning the car radio on to whatever station it's already dialed to.

as for reviews, my sister played first day of my life like 5 times in a row alone and wrote down all the lyrics (she was playing the bright eyes intro kit i made her for her russian friend and he's like, i can buy this at the store? LOL. ps molly if you're even reading this, simon has Decided that he Cannot like bright eyes, b/c i've already filled my quota of music from me that he loves. hahahah), my mom said it was "cute" (i got her to like chick music ie tori ani fiona etc but thats all i can really sway her on, she seemed like she'll like it soon tho), and my dad who never comments ever, unless to say too much swearing-hah, was like, who is this?...these sound like bob dylan songs. i'm like ahhh YES IT DOES I SAY THAT EVERY DAY!!! hahaha. sooo my dad and christmas rock. (and you do too automatically if you're even reading this right now.)<3theeeee end.

glamlovemiracles etc etc etc

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 05:20:23 GMT

soooo (ooh one minute after christmas exactly. 00:01 looks so cool to me hah)
i was thinking for a second there i was gonna do a long entry then the idea to take a bath hit me so thats out. haha. my christmas was umm...glam, and miracle-filled, lol. (i know you're prbly shocked to hear). it really was almost perfect, later i'll go into the mimosas and bright eyes of it (i know right) cause itd be nice to remember, but for now i hope everyone had fabulous days too and breaks so far. lovelovelove to everyone, and cant friggin wait to see some of you guys soon too. if it werent that one minute after i would call that a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. hahaha <333

so listen to this shit

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 04:36:02 GMT

all right so maybe i'm overreacting on the being freaked out, but if this is you you're an asshole-

so ok i'm on my house phone with ian tonight right and like the second after i get off the phone with him, like ten of 11, my cell phone rings and its a 408 number i don't recognize. i pick it up and its one of those weird operator calls where you say things, then the operator types it to the person who called you, then they type something for the operator to say. it's so weird, ian is the only other person i've ever known to get a call like that. i have to talk first so i ask who it is, and they say they're hurt and shit i dont remember them (how the fuck would i know who it is?) and that we met at a bar in albany. 'what was i too drunk to remember?'. right away they wanted me to 'chill tonight', but obviously ahh no. so we keep talking w/ me just being like how the fuck do you know me, when/where did we meet, etc etc. he said sneaky petes, and i'm like when, and he says this sem, but when i said i havent been there all sem, they're like oh must have been the post. and i'm like you can keep naming bars i don't believe you, i said how i dont even think they know me, then they say my full name- first middle last- my parents names, where i live, and then that they're gonna come over tonight and began to list in graphic detail what they were gonna do when they got here. like the filthiest shit ever i dont even wanna write down. hahaa. i didnt really respond to the dirty shit, haha i kinda thought it would encourage them, i just got creeped out (i said that too and they said 'are you sure?' ??) i told them to tell me who it was or i was gonna hang up, they're like please don't, etc. earlier they said their name was jack, i said they should call me on a real phone and they're like i'm impaired. now you're discriminating against impaired people. when i would get pissed or 'not know them' or whatever they'd be like i'm so hurt, i'm so fragile, etc etc. fucking creepy. at the end i asked them something they couldnt answer i forget what, and they just said 'you have a nice body' which is just bizarre right but less..descriptive hah, it was so frustrating i said something about hanging up and they said something about but i have supple breasts (who the fucks says that!?) so i finally said 'you wouldnt know' just like automatically, and then the call ended. fuckingggg creepyyy.

soooo who the fuck was that??? somebodys cracking up right now, i def must know them. i really think someone from my high school, like who the fuck else knows my parents names and my middle name?? they said 'trenton' for my town, too, and i hardly ever say that at school unless people are specifically asking (trenton:utica :: guilderland:albany i guess. haha. my house isnt in the city of utica, its in trenton). even w/ high school tho nobody would say trenton, youd say the village you live in. **fucking creepy**

you say that, so that's the way it's gonna be

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 08:25:50 GMT

that's what this is all about
i think that that's the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now

so-
on the loveseat with my mom, watching one of those public service announcements w/ the bartender praising the no smoking law:

me: (repeating one of the lines Super Seriously.)
her: haha your friends don't smoke right
nah i'm actually always commenting on how few smoke compared to here
hmm... are you smoking reefer???
(yes she said reefer to be ridiculous on purpose)
nooohahahhahaaa. come on.. i'm your blood
i was a cheerleader in 11th grade! i wasn't doing any drugs!
oh! dont worry, i'm way too smart for That
FRESH!

yayyy! goal from the summer of making sure my mom knows for certain whats up: check. like i even really smoke anymore. i feel like next semester will be a lot more..i dunno what word i'm really looking for here. a lot more down time maybe? who knows really. i didnt realize how fucking exhausting first sem was til i got home. hmm now would be the perfect segway to the all out 1st semester recap but that is a formidable task to sort out even privately, let alone posted on the internet. haha. sometime maybe, i'm really glad i have a sorta (non-livejournal) outline of freshman yr down on paper. i haven't read it since, but someday it'll trip me out. this semester really was like a story i read- freshman yr lent well to my choppy sentenceless retelling to salvage whatever memory i had left, but i feel like this sem requires a real narrative. haha writing about writing about is so pointless. good night

when it's my moment in the sun i won't forget that i am blessed

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 23:18:02 GMT

So. i dunno what part of my head makes me feel like i need to somehow make peace with livejournal always. why fight it, but i feel like this is a far bigger undertaking than i am prepared for. haha

first i need to get EVERYTHING IS A MOVIE out of my system. ("i'm only doing this once." haah) the cast the costume the set the scenes. "if you wanna read this book, that's cool....

if not, that's cool too....."

right now it's music over the credits in here, i feel like ian after we all split to soco. (which was beyondamazing for future record). i really dont know why i sat down here i need to pack and get out of here and it's only getting darker in this room and WE HAVE NO LIGHTS.

ok i guess i just need to ramble about loving my friends more than anything in thiswholefuckingworld (and i can sing odes to the *grass* for six hour stretches, twice in a weekend sometimes). as sort of a side note really, if i can pick out one less-sung point it's that everyone is a genius. really. someday ask me why you're a genius if you wanna know, but i just can't break things down lj style for now or pretty much ever. either way. last night was an instant top 5. the whole day fucking rocked actually. "OH IS THAT THE KID WITH THE ANAL?" hahahaha feeling good just fucking feels good if i can just throw up my hands right now. i am so grateful i dont even know what to do with it, and for the millionth time i'm saying the american beauty monologue owns my life and it just feels like rain cause what else. i dunno. i need to wrap things up, i have done more than enough talking. i can't wait for the car ride home and kitchens and my parents and eating fully nine pounds of food to get back the ones i guess i cried off over the matter of six days and then coming backkkk which feels so good that it will feel soo good i'm such a firm believer this year will parallel last year and YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

"we were the best ladybugs ever."

and i said how bout a revolution?

and he said right.

i love that song

ee cummings

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 17:56:51 GMT

so i was bored of this being in my profile, but only more and more enthralled, so it goes where all things displaced go.... liiivejournallll. haha. (and another one, while i'm at it.)

all which isn't singing is mere talking
and all talking's talking to oneself
(whether that oneself be sought or seeking
master or disciple sheep or wolf)

gush to it as diety or devil
-toss in sobs and reasons threats and smiles
name it cruel fair or blessed evil-
it is you (ne i)nobody else

drive dumb mankind dizzy with haranguing
-you are deafened every mother's son-
all is merely talk which isn't singing
and all talking's to oneself alone

but the very song of(as mountains
feel and lovers)singing is silence

- - -

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a far better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for eachother: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

now's as good a time as any

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 23:26:04 GMT

hey...

what's up?

so... i haven't really been about having an audience lately, in any respect, to be honest. but i am very much about being an audience, so you fuckers should still post more. haha

what else... things are only better, in every respect. i'm the slack jawed audience of my own life all the time; to be honest.
but enough about me. (i guess this is another reason i don't really post much. haha)

i do miss the rambling and blank white space of live journal tho, maybe i'll try updating on the regular again instead of just sweeping check in installments. like this one.

so until next time i guess, love all around

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 02:30:34 GMT

happy birthday

[and way fucking more than 6 more, at any rate]

my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 07:12:56 GMT

i've been trying to update this every once and a while, or at least trying to form one still thought about anything, but that's about the only perfectly true statement i can come up with and it's not even my line. i can't begin to do justice to anything of late, so for now, a well of thank yous apologies good lucks your welcomes and i love yous, and i'll try to check in if i ever come down from here.

readddyyyyyyGO

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 23:42:27 GMT

back

busy

happy

(more later i'm sure)

johnny quest thinks we're sell outs

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 17:01:33 GMT

soooo here i am at the end of the summer with about a dollar in my pocket 2 in the bank and nothing to show for it, so i remembered hey! i've got all those gas receipts in my car! grand total.............(place your bets)................. $279.31. and thats just what i used my atm card, got and saved the receipt for. i haven't even gotten my ezpass bill yet either, and i already paid a million tolls in cash. throw in 2 oil changes...

ah. so maybe THAT has something to do with it.

who's left to play this game? cmonnn

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 23:30:59 GMT

Sophomore Year Goals:

Bliss

the summer swallowed us whole

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 06:31:18 GMT

hmm well i meant to mention the evening of dding (which included dding *on the way to* the bar. hahh) and friggin randomly running into nick, one of our closest but justgoneseparateways friends. (weird to be *running into* someone like that. i felt like it should be ten years later and i should be with my ~~kids~~ ok i dunno what but not four drunk guys commenting on how nicely girlinourclasswhosonhersecondkid kept her figure as walks by us. crazyy.) so i *meant* to talk about all that but the high school flashback kick really peaks with last night, which was all too teen movie to be settling. flaming couches and boxing matches aside, the night was bizarree. sober again, which made me even more of a spectator than we all already were. i dunno if i'm sold on this thought, but it kinda seemed like, when everyone finally genuinely doesn't care what everyone else is doing, has done, and will do and with whom, what everyone else thinks, and thinks of them, the whole deal becomes kinda...pointless. but then again, that wasn't really everyone's story. all i know is i was done being there pretty fucking quick.

omg my catholic school angel baby cousin is a fucking stoner.

BigBob98765: lol me neither....after i saw ur college raiting tho i figured its time to ask cause u had to have at least tried lol

BigBob98765: at warped lol we were standing in the middle of the ground and we pull out our pipe then this guy comes up to us hes like you guys r smokking and were like yeah and hes like aright im in and hes throws in a half eigth and before i know it there is 3 pipes goign arodn to 6 people with probly 200 dollrs worth of weed

we're def blood.

i think i'm cra zy ba by

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 06:04:21 GMT

umm yeah livejournal and i needed some time apart, and a few days doesn't seem like that long but is a big deal for us. haha. really, sometimes i just dont wanna have my thoughts written down.

let's see, in the meantime i learned that not all bars around here suck, work does, and the school is looking simply stunning, and from me, thats saying something. albany on saturday was a trippy good time. i said the mall was like a carnival and two seconds later this clown is dancing in front of us. bombers <3s utica and i <3 it back. a waitress spilled a drink on simon and we tipped her 100%.

la la laaaaa

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 20:08:45 GMT

everything gets turned upside down innnnnnnnnnn:
s e v e n t e e n days.
like everyone prbly i'm mostly consumed with thoughts of that, and it's def all love. unlike last year i feel just like i used to going into new grades in high school. all goal oriented and clean slated, and comfortable and confident deff unlike last year when i didnt know What the fuck was up. even when i compare how ripped up i was thinking about leaving my friends (a feeling that lasted straight through first sem), i can barely believe i think the way i do now, and i'm def just pretending it doesn't make me nervous that things can change so fast.

i've been feeling really domestic lately, and in the mood to like shower people with presents and tell them how much i love them. haha. so be nice to me, maybe you'll get some of that. hahahaha. ok i'm just being dumb, but i meant it, i feel like christmas-y. i dunno if everyone's just been super lovey and telling everyone how much they mean to them and stuff cause we're in withdrawal and finally almost seeing each other for real again, or if the family and home set have been like that cause we're splitting again, but its welcome madness, and i really do love everyone. haha ok thats def enough from me.

so put your chips down on "way too fucking long" for this one (but the line on it doesn't pay well)

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 06:01:30 GMT

so after i picked myself up out the ditch i spent the last few days or so, i went to albany>westchester>thecity for warped tour, then an interview on monday. the whole weekend was sicckkk and somehow, warped tour itself would have to be the low point.

let's just say randall's island wishes it could be cool enough to be darien lake's bitch. the place was a fucking joke in comparision. let's see.. darien has grass instead of asphyxiating dust (masks were going around, i saw one girl who ripped her shirt to tie it over her face), stadium seating for one stage, stages that actually arent within earshot of each other, speakers that dont leave you straining to hear, all the stands actually in their own area instead of just in the middle of it all cutting into the crowds... randalls was just a mess, and a tiny one, compared to darien lake where you could actually get lost. there was room for real crowds with the necessary real live mosh pits and all, not just crushes of people worthy of an nsync concert getting trampled to death so they can maybe see or hear. so fuck that, even tho it wasn't a complete disaster by far, just something of a letdown. bands just chilling at their stands is always great, i talked to the boys night out guy. ooh!i'm such a groupie. so one way or another even tho i had already seen most of the people i cared about there before, it was cool crossing a few more off the list and adding another concert stub to the pile, buying some really cool shit, and having molly and kristin have their first warped. dont worry, you shouldnt expect your first time to be the best. hah.

westchestering it up the next day was a great time, sooo psyched for the room next year- we finally painted the dining hall chair. hahah. saw the video of the SHOGUN which rocked for real. (oh and reality bites beginning to end for the first time. welovethe90s). unfortunately, our very best friends nick and rob were gone for a weekend jaunt in the hamptons dahling but they called us in albany sunday night. hahaahaha. took the taconic to tuckahoe and back which was RECORD time, a gorrggeousss drive, no trucks and practically no cars, which meant record speeds hah, and flowersandbridges and streets with names like pumpkin lane. oh yes and FREE. even tho i still ended up dropping over $50 on gas and tolls. this summer=fucking expensive, but i would do it all again.

now finally caught up to today, which was one of those days that was spun out of gold thread i swear. first of all i was early for the interview (early! i know!) and there was like 230592 application essay sorta questions (ok but at *least* over a dozen, for real), which surprised me, but it couldnt have gone better. she offered me the job right then, and i got her to up the pay. haha. so i was so proud of myself to be honest. then i went to hagendazs which i dont know how to spell and the manager offered me that job so yayy but now i get to do what i do best- make a decision! :/ but i'm beyond grateful for it, finallyy some jobs work out right. now *i'm open to advice*..

all right so then I TOOK MOLLY TO VICTORIA'S SECRET TO GO UNDERWEAR SHOPPING. wait scratch that PANTY SHOPPING haha thats way more embarrassing. lolll. we dropped more money than i want to think about at the mall today but it was sooo great. just in general, the whole day was just one of those ahh life is good days. everything was easy and fun and entertaining. molly rocks which is esp a compliment from me cause i normally prefer doing actual shopping alone, but the whole deal was just perfect and great.

i was thinking the other day how if i really did have wishes, wishing that there was constantly changing lights and dark and color painted magic in the sky all the time would be an amazing wish, that i would absolutely use if i could even come up w/ that on my own if it weren't like that already. so feeling like i had already had a wish and used it well made me like the world that much more- then today i was thinking the very same things about dl-ing music and itunes and ipods. hahahahaha. so point being, i've been usually uplifted lately, to ridiculous crazy even to myself extremes. (ok seriously tho, i cant even fathom what it would be like to have a mind smart enough to make ipods. whatever people were in charge of that dont get enough credit.)

kristin lent me go ask alice and reefer madness, so those should be a good time. ok it's 2 in the morning and i've been getting up at regular adult times so its friggin late. missing everyone <3 good night

i love high school girls. i keep getting older, and they stay the same age.

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 04:38:15 GMT

so fuck this mornings post. out of spite, not out of not believing it anymore. haha

today i have a bitch fairy, cause last night i was complaining how all my applying has amounted to nothing, and this morning i have an interview, i was complaining about my alternator dying, turns out a cable was just loose, bitched about work, and it friggin flewww by today. so not such huge deals, but its like every complaint i said out loud. so umm WOW I'M SOO BROKE. haha couldnt hurt.

i put jumpers in my car *today* and *today* this poor russian family's car dies, like 5 minutes after i get to work. magic or what?

so you know when people say "i'll see you later" "not if i see you first", everyone agrees what that means right?

i let my 2 month smoke-free marker fly right by w/o recognition. i still wasn't even the one who pointed it out. i guess i monitor it as little when i'm at a low point as a high point. (haah)

all right its not like i havent already posted today. haha. i need purpose.

if it's one that you can keep

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 20:33:01 GMT

soooo. work in 94 minutes. AWESOME. work really does have that special way of sucking your life away, along with any will to live it. at least it does you that favor. hah. so yeah, my Current Mood: is negative:( all the sudden. i cant wait to just be done w/ work, and my job is on the relatively less tedious side. (the pay balances the perk of course).

warped tour on saturday should be thebestthingoflife, and i certainly need to get the hell out of here. i was trying to describe it to bunnie and got all psyched thinking about it. last years was Sick and theres about 786 reasons why this one should be better.

in the meantime i just wanna sleep the week away. (oh and i'm trying). i really just need to be done with home. i feel like i've really just fucked up a lot of it (believe me it's a big deal that i actually think that). ok maybe not so huge because the vast majority i wouldnt go back and change, but just blah. if the school year ended with a few maybe depressing and-that's-just-the-way-things-go lifelessons, the summer locked them down and added some. everything just seems so resigned. (yes mostly me). i guess it's hard to keep hope that something will ever be something you might call perfect on a good day, when blah nevermind.

enough of this. way less than 94 minutes til work. some people come in so often, especially the ones alone, it makes me feel like a coke dealer.